No Fires

What an amazing day!!!! It all started out with an amazing meeting followed by a little creative boost shopping with my sponsor. I got some really cute stuff that inspired me to work on one of my many projects my divas cook book. I spent a little time chatting with my first partner which was really cool since I really have not spoken to him in a few years. I decided this morning what group I will be receiving my 1 year medallion. I received some amazing and fun photos which boosted my mood even more. The most exciting thing that happened today was there were no emergencies or fires to put out it was a calm day. I will admit to  being a little jealous of one of my roommates because he has a very intimate relationship intellectually with someone and I am not quite there. I know that these type of relationships don't just happen over night they take time and I know I have a relationship in my life right now that deepens almost daily. Somedays for me are better then others and some day I am all over the place unable to focus on the simplest of tasks. The most important relationship right now is the one I have with myself as well as with my Higher Power. I am learning to admit that I have needs not just wants and I am learning what it is going to take for me to feel fufilled in my life. I came to the decision that as soon as I can afford to I am going to have my name legally changed as a more permanent sign of my happiness and life. There is only so much I can do to make people see how serious I am about the changes I am.  Right now I can tell you my heart hurts because I see something I used to have and want again but it is a process I cannot rush. There is a person I used to have in my life I could turn to who would give me a false sense of intamacy but I know he is TOXIC!!! I am willing to do the work and I know I keep saying this but I am. For someone to ask me to do anything that is not in line with what I know I need to do and expect that I am going to do that because they want me to because I have done it in the past I know they are being selfish. So heres what I have done and will continue to do: I took some time to go thru my closet and look at qall the beautiful things I have, I am going to look at the beauty that surrounds me outside and if I can get to it I am going to take a nice hot bath. I wish I could get a massage and get my nails done but I know that will come in time. I just have to keep doing the leg work. I feel so powerless at the moment and I feel like I am on my knees right now just clinging to the hope that this funk will pass shortly. I still need to write a thank you card (yes I still hand write thank you cards) I enjoy trying to do the things that will put my life more in sync with my goals and visions for my life. It is the little touches that matter. It does not always have to be some huge gesture or grand entrance keeping things simple like my style its easy and not over worked. Take it nice and easy and dont put to much pressure on yourself because if you don't get it just right thats ok you can make a mistake and learn from it. So be Divine Diva's

XOXO,
Natalia